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Personal and Professional Legal Services in the Heart of Vermont

Ways to reduce conflict in your divorce

On Behalf of | Mar 13, 2023 | Divorce |

A lot of people who are going through a divorce want to get through the process as quickly as possible. For some, the emotional devastation is simply too much to handle, and a prolonged process just feels more crushing. Others are eager to move onto the next chapter of their life and they want to tie up loose ends as quickly as possible so that they can put their marriage in their rearview mirror.

But others are driven to rush through the process because they don’t want to deal with the conflict that’s often involved in a Vermont divorce. This is completely understandable, but it’s also dangerous given that a rushed divorce can leave you at a disadvantage once all is said and done.

How to reduce conflict in your divorce

If you’re worried about the conflict that you’ll see in your divorce, you might want to take the following actions to try to minimize conflict so that you can slow things down to make sure that you’re fighting for the outcome that’s right for you.

  1. Reduce communications: If you struggle to carry on a basic conversation with your spouse without it spiraling out of control, you should think of ways to minimize direct contact with them. This may include using email and text messages, but you can also rely on your attorney as a go-between so that messages are clearly conveyed and understood while minimizing the tension involved.
  2. Try to let go of the past: This can be really hard to do, especially if your spouse did something that you think has driven your marriage to divorce. However, taking shots at your spouse for their prior actions is going to do nothing but stir up more conflict. Therefore, try to remain focused on what you can do to position yourself for a successful post-divorce life.
  3. Find support: We know that you’ve probably got a lot of anger, frustration and sadness bottled up inside of you. A lot of people who experience those emotions and are going through divorce are tempted to unleash their feelings on their spouse. But that will just cause more tension. A better way to handle these emotions is to find support from family members, friends, mental health professionals and even support groups.
  4. Focus on yourself: As the divorce process is playing out, you should spend some time reflecting and getting to know yourself again. After all, you’ve spent the last several years putting your own interests aside to care for your family. Now is the time to renew your interests and find something that gives you hope for the future and takes your mind off of the difficulties that you’re facing now.
  5. Choose your battles: A lot of conflict is generated when spouses who are mad at each other decide to fight over everything. Yet not everything needs to be fought over. Therefore, you should carefully consider the issues ahead of you and pick which ones you really need to fight for. By letting the rest go, you may be able to considerably reduce the tension in your divorce.

Find a legal strategy that supports the kind of divorce that you want

You have a lot of options when it comes to choosing legal representation. At first glance, they may all seem similar, but they’re not. Each legal team will take a different approach to your case, which is why it’s a good idea to talk to them to figure out which strategy is right for you.