Divorced parents often find themselves relocating due to new job opportunities, the desire for a fresh start, or reconnecting with their roots. Although relocating can be a positive step forward after divorce, it undoubtedly presents unique challenges when it comes to co-parenting.
As Vermont family law underscores, children fare better when both parents are actively involved in their lives. If you are the parent who is moving away, it is critical to address potential issues before relocating.
3 guidelines to consider when co-parenting at a distance
- Discuss unique arrangements
In Vermont, the parenting plan serves as a blueprint for each parent’s legal and physical responsibilities. With your relocation on the horizon, you might consider taking the child with you or entrusting physical responsibility to the other parent. When weighing this decision, it is critical to prioritize the child’s best interests.
Given that equal physical time may not be feasible, crafting unique arrangements often becomes the most probable solution. For example, some co-parents elect to divide holiday and vacation days equally, while others alternate years. On days when the child is apart from one parent, technology can bridge the gap.
After agreeing on these aspects, be sure to incorporate them into your parenting plan for clarity and reference.
- Spend time even when afar
Staying connected with children virtually is common nowadays. However, collaboration with the other parent is crucial to ensure consistent virtual visits.
Establish a specific mode of communication, such as video calls, and set a fixed schedule considering the child and both parents’ circumstances. Utilizing tools such as shared online calendars can streamline this process.
Having a plan to address potential issues, such as scheduling conflicts, can help prevent tensions with your former spouse, making the co-parenting experience smoother for everyone involved.
- Practice respectful and open communication
As co-parents, you will need to communicate and make decisions about your child for many years to come. However, conversing with a former spouse is not always easy, especially when emotions run high. When approaching the other parent, consider treating them like a colleague at work. Maintain a professional tone, whether you are making a request or addressing theirs.
Think of it this way: when frustrated with a co-worker, you would likely take a step back and gather your thoughts before responding. Then you would answer back in a respectful manner, keeping in mind that you share a common goal. The same principles can be applied when interacting with a co-parent.
What if co-parents cannot reach an agreement?
While moving can present new opportunities for a recently divorced parent, it is essential to consider how the relocation affects their child and former spouse too. Unfortunately, there are situations where co-parents do not agree on the parenting plan or other important decisions. In such cases, mediation can be an effective way to resolve disagreements.
