“We’re through. I don’t want to ever see you or hear from you again.” Imagining yourself saying those words, slamming the door and speeding off in the car might feel empowering if you’re thinking about a divorce.
The reality will be somewhat different, particularly if you share minor children. Most divorcing couples need to see and talk to each other again to sort out matters such as property division, but once the divorce is finalized, they are free to cut contact.
Those who share minor children will need to keep communicating with each other and seeing each other at least until the child reaches the age of majority. That is not to say there are never circumstances where ceasing all communication might be an option.
Is it in your child’s best interests?
Courts start with the general assumption that having both parents continue to play an active role in their child’s life is the best thing for the child. A decent level of communication between parents will be necessary for this to happen. So, if you truly believe cutting all communication with the other parent is what is needed, you’ll have to present a very strong case to the court as to why it is in your child’s best interests, not just yours, for this to happen.
Safety is the most convincing reason
Maybe you want to leave your spouse because they beat you. Or because they have a severe drug problem that — while it has never yet led to physical violence — is a constant worry for you. Maybe you found them overdosing on the floor and only just managed to cover things up before your child saw them. Or maybe you found dirty needles in your child’s bed after your spouse had fallen asleep there while reading them a bedtime story and fear that only luck prevented a needle from infecting your child.
These are the kind of extreme cases that might convince a judge that allowing you to completely cut your spouse out of your life and, by default, your child’s life, is an option. Sometimes, a court will prefer lesser measures, such as no-contact orders or supervised visitation, that give you the protection you need, while still allowing your child to maintain some contact with their other parent. Learning more about your rights and the options available is a good place to start.
